Goals

So, I've been thinking about purpose and goals recently. I never jumped on board with the whole Purpose-Driven anything band-wagon, as I've never felt the need, and always felt like I had a good grasp on why we are here. (It's to go hiking, btw) But I was presented this week with some food for thought that I have been slowly chewing, and will continue to chew on for yet a while longer.

The context is that this past week, I spent three days at a seminar for work where the entire office took off to a retreat/spa-thing in the Gorge to discuss teamwork etc. I'll spare you the boring exercises and communication ordeals, but suffice to say, it was actually a lot more enjoyable than anticipated, and I think I've been spoiled for team-building conferences for a very long time due to the caliber of presenter that facilitated it. The focus at the end was on personal goal-setting. I drew to remembrance how goal-setting is what got me out of the hell-hole of Newberg, and that my goal-setting was seemingly divinely encouraged (I appreciate God's 2x4s) But once I got out of Newberg and into Portland, it seemed that I sort of stopped setting goals.

So, the question then becomes, 'What are my goals now?' And once again, I am drawn into my existential stalemate. Goals without the proper motivation are fruitless if pursuing the 'best', and I want to pursue the 'best' whatever that is. However, lacking proper motivation breeds indecision and stagnation, which is what I have sort of found myself gravitating towards. So, is any goal or purpose better than stagnation? Or is it worth it to try and construe proper motivation before commencing any long-term goal-setting?

The practical part of me just wants to set myself in motion, as motion is better than nothing, and course can be adjusted mid-flight. It is well-known you cannot adjust a non-moving entity to anything or anywhere easily. (Yay for inertia!)The logical, organized, and ultimately boring part of me wants to make sure all my ducks are in a row before I kill them and make soup. So, maybe I just need to be messy and run in one direction first, killing all the ducks I see, so that I may learn the best recipe. (for bad metaphors, as well as duck soup)

More Writing

For a long time, I have thought about, flirted with, and generally toyed with the idea of writing more. I'd like to, and then as soon as I actually do write something, all the doubt and loathing and second-guessing comes in etc. I think a good chunk of people know what I mean in regards to the creative process.

I currently have ideas/outlines/whatever for up to seven books, not all of them fiction. At any rate, this idea has resurfaced, not fiercly, but potently in recent weeks. I'm considering enrolling in a writing class in order to force myself to write, as I think inertia may be one of the main things holding me back. We'll see.